these are excerpts from conversations casey has had in new york CASEY man hat tan. what a stupid name. YANKEE i think it is an indian word. CASEY so it means either 'corn' or 'friendship'? YANKEE exactly next CASEY more leather jackets. please! next YANKEE would you stop giggling every time you hear an advertisement for 'the wiz' CASEY ha ha ... i can't help it! he he next YANKEE so tell us about new york women again CASEY alright, but the first part of the theory is not my own idea. it was a coworkers observation which i happen to agree with. their observation was that new york women have great back sides, because they have to walk around all the time; while dallas women have great front sides, because of augmentation and such. YANKEE and you agree with that? CASEY with all my heart. now the interesting part is my theories which build off of this, in a means to create the perfect woman. first, either i get a new york female and take her to dallas to get implants. or i get a dallas female and bring her up here to walk around alot. which is cheaper, but would take longer, although there would be no scars. the last idea is even more of a gray area. because it might be possible to meet exactly in the middle of new york and dallas, such that the women have both great front and backsides, at which point my search is done for mrs. chesnut. or the woman in the middle has both an average front and backside, at which point i would have to take her both to dallas and new york. which would take time and money ... that is my dilemna. YANKEE well spoken CASEY thank you YANKEE your welcome CASEY your from kansas right? YANKEE yes, how could you tell? CASEY no comment next CASEY am i ever going to get to see godzilla? or at least a really big monkey? and where did they get the big apple from? come to think of it, what the hell is a yankee? next CASEY since i am on the island, if i just order an iced tea ... is it going to be alcoholic? next CASEY long island sucks! and furthermore nobody really loves new york. i would not go so far as to say hate, but in general, new york sucks too. now manhattan is awesome, although the name is stupid. so the shirts should really say, i love manhattan, and could not care less about the rest of the state. YANKEE and how does that compare to texas? CASEY texas has a couple of kick ass cities, so we are allowed to generalize and say that the whole state is awesome. and we don't have to make shirts, because it is just understood that everybody loves texas. YEE HAW! except new yorkers. new yorkers hate texas, but they won't admit it unless you call them out. compared to the rest of the states, they have alot of pride, but they know deep in their hearts that it is really just manhattan, and the rest of the state sucks, therefore they know they cannot touch texas pride, so they resent us. next CASEY hey! where did they take the sneezing girl? that's it ... i quit. next CASEY you're kidding me right? clam chowder is supposed to be white. next CASEY fuck the mets! next CASEY everybody in new york is way too nice. i haven't been mugged, haven't been ripped off by a taxi driver. every movie i have seen representing new york is wrong. and i won't even begin to bitch about the show 'sex in the city' YANKEE i told you. it's all lies! next CASEY so if i burn this place down, do you think they will call it newer york or new new york. you know it can't be new forever ... i think that is what the peppermint patty people are counting on. oh ... and i will burn this place down, if i hear 'who let the dogs out' one more time next YANKEE so what is the best thing about new york CASEY no country music YANKEE and what is the worst thing about new york CASEY no shania twain or faith hill. grr! that and the god awful cold. brr! next YANKEE you went to gossip again! CASEY hell yeah! it is right across the street from my hotel. i would have to beat myself up if i didn't go. besides ... love that stripper smell. makes me sleep like a baby. otherwise, i am like fight club ed norton, except i stay up writing stupid programs like this instead of blowing stuff up. although, i still have never been in a fight. that is an idea, maybe i will stay up and write a web app for arranging fights. END!